"If you go to your [uni house] for a few weeks you better do something worthwhile down there" my mum's advice echoed as I completed all five Jurassic Park films and, using my six month free trial with Disney+ (thank you O2 Priority, very cool), started combing my way through the eleven live action Star Wars films. This is where the fun begins.
Day 1: The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones
I revisited the prequels in November last year in anticipation of the final Skywalker film and greatly enjoyed them in a post-meme environment. This time it was a struggle. Alcohol was extensively required to wade through TPM's tiresome tax talks and politics which, whilst opening up the socio-economic world of Star Wars, detracts from one could have been a relatively streamlined film. Jar Jar has bizarrely become less of an irritant over time but is still a pain, as is Jake Lloyd's Anakin. The film is rescued by Qui-Gon Jinn, the ferocious sound effects of the podracing and the Darth Maul fight. Watching Dave Filoni's analysis of that vital fight scene strengthens it tenfold too.
AotC's is equally a slog and I do find it inferior to its predecessor simply because it lacks scenes as spectacular as the previously mentioned set pieces. The Anakin-Padme 'wooing' is horrific, both in its visual effects and dialogue. Obi-wan's detective story is at least intriguing and the asteroid belt chase with Jango Fett is a go to scene for demonstrating the franchise's unparalleled sound design. Upon reaching the end of the film, one can only exhale in relief: the worst is now behind and things start to look up. I retired to bed, where even my dreams had green-screen.
Day 2: Revenge of the Sith, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, A New Hope
At a relaxed 11:00am Revenge of the Sith was whacked on. Not just one of my franchise favourites, RotS is also one of my most re-watched films, period. The defining Star Wars film of my childhood, I have seen it an embarrassingly amount of times. It reminds me of Shrek 2: a pretty good film that has become a pop culture landmark in the age of memes and social media, ensuring that it has aged (accidentally) very, very well. Drinking every time a meme is said is fatal but even without alcohol this is a blast. By far the most imaginative of the saga (excluding the original), this feels like the story George Lucas always wanted to make: its editing and use of parallels gives it a 'planned for years' vibe. Crackling with invention in the planet, vehicles, action and music departments, it is a definitive blockbuster.
The darkness of RotS instantly subsided after switching on the spin-off Solo, which is a dark film visually but in tone and spirit a largely childish film. My first time re-watching this 2018 'flop', I had genuinely forgotten I had seen this by the end of the night. My definitive three star film, Solo is a plain Jane. Acting, characters, action, score, effects and story are simply fine. They do the job. The third-act shenanigans boost the film's appeal but it is one of the least daring blockbusters committed to the silver screen.
After a much needed break of sitting in the garden (it was a scorcher of a day), dinner was consumed and Rogue One commenced. By far the strongest of the Disney era, Rogue One is alive with originality due to its unique, gritty tone, ground-shaking set pieces and astonishing camera work and visuals: perhaps the best Star Wars film from a cinematography perspective. I love this film, and the Scarif ending always makes me feel like a child again, and for that it receives a double thumbs up.
The ending of Rogue One mellifluously flows into the evening's final picture, A New Hope. It is brain numbing to imagine audiences in 1977 watching this and just being blown away (or weirded out) by George Lucas' insane vision and creativity. A beautifully wholesome film that is satisfactory even without sequels and prequels, you can't help but relish in its charm.
Day 3: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
Now we are sailing. TESB is the best Star Wars film cinematically. The characters get extensive arcs and developments, the action lands and visually it is stunning: the freezing chamber for Han's carbonite session and later Luke's confrontation with Vader is worthy of recognition in the archives. John Williams also goes full legend mode: the Imperial March, the Asteroid Field, Yoda's Theme... without Williams this franchise just would not work. This is also my favourite Han Solo film.
ROTJ is the weakest of the originals, hindered by lazier storytelling (another Death Star), a third act that starts about fifty minutes in and ewoks downing the Empire's finest legion of stormtroopers. But this concluding epic also houses some of the greatest sequences in the saga: Luke's defeat of Vader, followed by his declaration that he is "a Jedi, like my father before me" is the absolute high point of the entire franchise. The Emperor is a superb villain with his baiting of the Rebel Alliance working twofold: first it removes his enemies, but by staging it outside the window of a captive Luke, he pushes the young Jedi's principles to their limit as Luke is caught between the Jedi code and needing to save his friends. The ultimate good overcoming evil narrative, ROTJ is super satisfying. Tying everything off perfectly and conclusively, it is a joyous ending. For me, the Star Wars franchise stopped here.
Day 4: The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker
This is where the fun stops. I last saw TFA in December and found it to be just 'fine'. It is annoying to see the potential that this film set up the sequels to have, only for it to be unfulfilled. Perhaps the safest blockbuster ever made, it does undo the peaceful end of Episode VI by having the First Order essentially being stronger than the Empire. But after six viewings I still find this relatively enjoyable with fun moments.
TLJ is the opposite. My fourth full viewing, this has not aged a fraction as well as what Rian Johnson hoped it would. Johnson stated that Episode V was originally decisive, implying his artistic vision will be re-evaluated. But Episode V still had people extremely excited for Episode VI, TLJ derailed the saga so much that people slogged to see TROS. The film's coolest moments (Yoda summoning lightning, lightspeed ram, Praetorian Guard fight) are undermined by logical issues (what is the extent of Force-ghost interference, why can't the lightspeed ram be constantly used, why do so many of the guards stand about doing nothing / mysteriously use weapons). The two things I can say I like conclusively is Yoda's dialogue with Luke and the cinematography, which drips with reds and whites. Visually and aurally it is majestic. But Finn's character is thrown under a truck, Rose is cringe-inducing, the action rarely makes sense, the Leia Force scene is iffy and the comedy is not Star Wars (have sat through nine of them back-to-back and this humour is a curveball).
Then there is the conclusion to the Skywalker saga. If TFA was too safe and TLJ too bold, then TROS is just too desperate. Suffering from a ludicrously hamstrung story (find a thing to get a thing but we need to go somewhere to get something to read a thing in order to find a thing that is ultimately not needed) and a waste of characters, even the visuals and sound are flat and uninteresting. John Williams has nothing to work with either and this is the weakest score of the bunch: you will be hard pressed to find an original theme in this installment as instead Binary Sunset and Leia's Theme are rammed into every Force based moment. Even Yoda's Theme for Luke raising his X-wing is more a callback than meaning. Rey is seriously overpowered and never experiences any form of loss or pain for me to empathise with her. Ben Solo's redemption is nice but becoming a Force-ghost after one good deed after all the murderous things he has done is not satisfactory. There is a total lack of states too: a perfect opportunity to give Threepio an emotional sendoff is re-routed, Chewbacca is used for a lame death fake-out, Kylo is stabbed and healed and Rey is brought back. The less we say about Palpatine returning the better. This is pure non-canon.
A Star Wars Marathon can be great fun: drink for the prequels, enjoy the originals, get wasted for the sequels. The marathon will peak far too early (Episodes III-VI) but you can stop at VI and not miss anything. I will not be doing this again for many years.
Day 3: The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
Now we are sailing. TESB is the best Star Wars film cinematically. The characters get extensive arcs and developments, the action lands and visually it is stunning: the freezing chamber for Han's carbonite session and later Luke's confrontation with Vader is worthy of recognition in the archives. John Williams also goes full legend mode: the Imperial March, the Asteroid Field, Yoda's Theme... without Williams this franchise just would not work. This is also my favourite Han Solo film.
ROTJ is the weakest of the originals, hindered by lazier storytelling (another Death Star), a third act that starts about fifty minutes in and ewoks downing the Empire's finest legion of stormtroopers. But this concluding epic also houses some of the greatest sequences in the saga: Luke's defeat of Vader, followed by his declaration that he is "a Jedi, like my father before me" is the absolute high point of the entire franchise. The Emperor is a superb villain with his baiting of the Rebel Alliance working twofold: first it removes his enemies, but by staging it outside the window of a captive Luke, he pushes the young Jedi's principles to their limit as Luke is caught between the Jedi code and needing to save his friends. The ultimate good overcoming evil narrative, ROTJ is super satisfying. Tying everything off perfectly and conclusively, it is a joyous ending. For me, the Star Wars franchise stopped here.
Day 4: The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker
This is where the fun stops. I last saw TFA in December and found it to be just 'fine'. It is annoying to see the potential that this film set up the sequels to have, only for it to be unfulfilled. Perhaps the safest blockbuster ever made, it does undo the peaceful end of Episode VI by having the First Order essentially being stronger than the Empire. But after six viewings I still find this relatively enjoyable with fun moments.
TLJ is the opposite. My fourth full viewing, this has not aged a fraction as well as what Rian Johnson hoped it would. Johnson stated that Episode V was originally decisive, implying his artistic vision will be re-evaluated. But Episode V still had people extremely excited for Episode VI, TLJ derailed the saga so much that people slogged to see TROS. The film's coolest moments (Yoda summoning lightning, lightspeed ram, Praetorian Guard fight) are undermined by logical issues (what is the extent of Force-ghost interference, why can't the lightspeed ram be constantly used, why do so many of the guards stand about doing nothing / mysteriously use weapons). The two things I can say I like conclusively is Yoda's dialogue with Luke and the cinematography, which drips with reds and whites. Visually and aurally it is majestic. But Finn's character is thrown under a truck, Rose is cringe-inducing, the action rarely makes sense, the Leia Force scene is iffy and the comedy is not Star Wars (have sat through nine of them back-to-back and this humour is a curveball).
Then there is the conclusion to the Skywalker saga. If TFA was too safe and TLJ too bold, then TROS is just too desperate. Suffering from a ludicrously hamstrung story (find a thing to get a thing but we need to go somewhere to get something to read a thing in order to find a thing that is ultimately not needed) and a waste of characters, even the visuals and sound are flat and uninteresting. John Williams has nothing to work with either and this is the weakest score of the bunch: you will be hard pressed to find an original theme in this installment as instead Binary Sunset and Leia's Theme are rammed into every Force based moment. Even Yoda's Theme for Luke raising his X-wing is more a callback than meaning. Rey is seriously overpowered and never experiences any form of loss or pain for me to empathise with her. Ben Solo's redemption is nice but becoming a Force-ghost after one good deed after all the murderous things he has done is not satisfactory. There is a total lack of states too: a perfect opportunity to give Threepio an emotional sendoff is re-routed, Chewbacca is used for a lame death fake-out, Kylo is stabbed and healed and Rey is brought back. The less we say about Palpatine returning the better. This is pure non-canon.
A Star Wars Marathon can be great fun: drink for the prequels, enjoy the originals, get wasted for the sequels. The marathon will peak far too early (Episodes III-VI) but you can stop at VI and not miss anything. I will not be doing this again for many years.
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